She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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