some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
As shirtless as possible
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize