I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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