His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
