She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
zippers are such a cool invention
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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