how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
