it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Randomize