Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
