is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
