erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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