you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
