Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize