saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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