you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize