Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
