Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
