yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
