Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
should my penis look like a turkey
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
