HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
