apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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