Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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