is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
