Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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