Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
