My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
