come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
