For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
