Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
