I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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