Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
