i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
