I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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