are you still at the devil's house?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
