Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
