We won't sleep together?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
bring money and cleavage
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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