just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
