I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
