Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
