he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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