i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i need some magic done to my vagina
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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