DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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