I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
