Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
