M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
