the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
