im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize