If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
