am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
