Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize