no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
