come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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