Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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