used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
