your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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