We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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