ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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