please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
