Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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