I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No subtext here. People are naked.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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