dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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