Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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