May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
