True but thats because hes a fetus.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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