I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
