he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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