I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
