best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize