please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
