you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
