Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he shaved USA in his pubs
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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