My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
