i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
The air taste purple.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
