I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Randomize
