Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
