i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize