your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
