Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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