well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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