i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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